'Twas the night before Christmas, the year 2020,
Troubles and worries and fears were aplenty.
As in tough times before (though these clearly the worst),
I set out to remember the sports year, in verse.
As I wrestled with rhymes on this memorable eve,
Most dreamt of wonders that St. Nick just might leave,
Not AirPods, a PlayStation 5 or nice shoes,
Not chocolate, cigars or a bottle of booze.
This year is different -- so too are our lists,
Less stuff that we want, more things that we've missed.
Like big hugs from our parents, kids out of the house,
A break from the Zoom calls! A break from our spouse!
A party for hundreds, no masks on our faces,
Travel to all of our favorite places.
A concert that isn't livestreaming on Verzuz,
And most of all -- rest for our doctors and nurses.
I'd like to believe in what St. Nick can do,
But we'll stay safe at home if he doesn't come through.
And, in the meantime, 'til "normal" returns,
A poem to distract from our many concerns...
'Cause even though sports didn't look quite the same,
We still found a way to compete and play games.
Crowned champs, raised trophies, celebrated too,
It all started in January, with LSU.
Tigers vs. Tigers, like the Spider-Man meme,
As Dabo and Clemson met Orgeron's team.
No repeat for Lawrence, Joe Burrow now king,
LSU, undefeated, capped it off with a ring.
Over in the pros, there was wild-card madness,
As fans took great pleasure in New England's sadness,
They lost to the Titans, King Henry was great.
The Pats' AFC title game streak done at eight.
Seahawks topped Philly, Texans beat Bills,
OT between Minny and NOLA brought thrills,
Another late loss for Drew Brees and the Saints,
Another close call meant more Saints fan complaints.
Niners topped Vikes, Seattle fell to Green Bay,
Houston choked in KC -- an ignoble display.
The league MVP and his Baltimore squad,
Got shocked by the Titans and their running back gawd.
In the title games San Fran stopped A-ARon's run,
And the Chiefs were the team to end Tennessee's fun.
Stage was set, and the Niners and KC would meet,
In Miami, at Super Bowl LIV they'd compete.
Mahomes and his homies did their comeback thing,
To defeat Jimmy G and get Andy his ring,
And while Reid'll put a smile on most anyone near ya,
The best moves were still made by J.Lo and Shakira.
The game a distraction for many still mourning,
The death of a legend with nary a warning.
Kobe and Gigi, both loved and adored,
Killed in a crash that took all those on board.
Looking back, some remember his death as the first,
In a long list of things that made this year our worst.
Soon after came COVID, the world put on hold,
By a virus that couldn't be stopped or controlled.
In sports, coach's playbooks were ditched for physicians',
They said we must cancel or postpone traditions.
Olympics, March Madness, spring college sports, too,
If we wanted to play, the old ways wouldn't do.
We'd need bubbles and testing and masks on all faces,
Ways to keep athletes in sanitized spaces.
Is it worth it to try to save jobs and save cash?
Would the access to testing earn sports leagues backlash?
While we pondered these questions, sports business kept rolling,
Free agency, trades and big deals were ongoing.
The W held its first virtual draft,
Sabrina went first -- no surprise, that.
The NFL draft was good, virtual fun,
Bengals got Burrow with pick number one.
We loved Jerry's yacht and Kliff Kingsbury's pad,
The War Room at Vrabel's, Javon Kinlaw's dad.
We relived the '90s with the doc "The Last Dance";
Thank goodness the film's premiere date was advanced.
"Tiger King" is done, let the real kings rule,
Jordan so fire, makes berets look cool.
There were memes galore! Woz's shrug, Zeke's rant,
"Straight up bitches," quoth Horace Grant.
iPad reacts, Rodman's bender, vintage hippie Phil,
"And I took that personally" is going in my will.
First returners were NASCAR and the UFC,
"Fight Island" a lie -- no beach or palm trees!
We watched Bundesliga and the KBO,
Loved the Karl Ravech song and Swole Daddy Dinos.
We were pumped for the start of the NWSL,
No Pride in the tourney -- infected personnel --
But once it got going, it went off without a hitch,
Record numbers watched on both TV and Twitch.
As other sports leagues made their plans to return,
Cities from coast to coast started to burn.
George Floyd's death the match that started the flames,
How many more hashtags attached to Black names?
Was playing a game still the No. 1 goal,
When the country was rightfully searching its soul?
Would basketball action steal headlines from riots?
Would athletes be asked to just play and stay quiet?
All this while NASCAR was banning a flag,
And racists defended a noose as a gag.
The last laugh to Bubba -- now sponsored by Beats,
And driving the GOAT's 23 in these streets.
In July hoops players went into the bubble,
Others opted out, inspired to find "Good Trouble."
But even those playing made activists proud,
Demanding their voices be heard, and heard loud.
Jerseys bore statements, "Black Lives Matter" on courts,
There was no expectation to just stick to sports.
As usual, the W players led the way,
"Say Her Name," "Vote Warnock," they did more than just play.
Wilson of the Aces was MVP,
But her team was no match for a healthy Stewie.
The Storm won it all -- winning's what they do,
First of two rings for Bird -- she got engaged, too!
Gobert scored first in the Disney World bubble,
'Twas his test in March that signaled big trouble.
We got used to fake crowd noise and virtual fans,
Heard all about players and their fishing trip plans.
Lou risked it all for those lemon pepper wings,
Butler slung coffee, Meyers earned Chugging King.
Of course the *real* King remains LeBron James,
Still kickin' ass, still taking names.
Led the Lakers to the title over the upstart Heat,
Averaged nearly 30-12-and-9, was named Finals MVP.
In the end depth didn't seem to matter much,
You got LeBron and AD? You got enough.
Despite all the weirdness, the hoopin' was good!
You can put an asterisk on the titles, but not many would.
Both basketball leagues did it -- no positive tests,
The gold standard in sport, an example for the rest.
Meanwhile MLB debated over number of games,
Some rolled eyes at the owners' "woe is me" claims.
The league went with 60 -- a sprint of a race --
And no bubble to play in, no games in one place.
It started off shaky, the Marlins got sick,
St. Louis, too -- this could be scrapped quick!
Then the Indians' scandal, with Mike C and Zach,
To Clevinger, teammates said, "never come back."
But the season pressed on; things began to calm down,
We got used to new rules -- might keep some around.
The Astros avoided a season of jeers,
Best believe fans have saved plenty "boos" for next year.
An expanded postseason began late September,
Two losing teams made it! That's one to remember.
LA topped the Rays, it was finally their year,
A title for Kershaw was something to cheer.
But during the game, a real bad scene,
Justin Turner tested positive for COVID-19.
Came back on the field, no mask on his face,
Didn't get punished -- MLB's a disgrace.
Hockey in August, that was a weird sight,
Two Canadian hubs hosted games every night.
Tampa Bay won, but it's kind of a bummer,
Fans didn't get to party with Stanley all summer.
Osaka the queen of the Queens center court,
Her masks made a statement bigger than sport.
Novak DQ'd when a judge felt his wrath,
Thiem the winner with an easier path.
At first college football was canceled for all,
But some Power 5 higher-ups said, "let's play ball."
Eventually most other conferences caved,
But I'm not sure this season was one to be saved.
There are outbreaks all over, schools can't field a team,
A COVID-free season? A laughable dream.
Tough gig for the CFP, choosing its squads,
In a season that's so undeniably flawed.
A Masters like no other, no fans to hear "FORE!"
No fans to witness Dustin's course-record score.
An NBA draft held in Bristol, CT?
First Edwards, then Wiseman, LaMelo at 3.
The NFL also looks different this year,
With fans made of cardboard and pretaped crowd cheers.
COVID sidelined Lamar, and Cam for the Pats,
No QBs AT ALL?! Broncos, yo, what was that?
Speaking of different, Tom's in Tampa Bay,
And Bill Belichick's Pats won't see postseason play.
Herbert is great, Tua's played well so far,
And before he got hurt Burrow looked like a star.
The Cowboys lost Dak and they got even worse,
The Eagles benched Wentz and switched over to Hurts.
The Washington squad is a team with no name,
Alex Smith is a starter again -- that's insane!
Mahomes is magic -- that remains unchanged,
And Bills fans remain the best kind of deranged.
The Browns might be good! For real! No cap.
Unfortunately, the Lions are still mostly crap.
Patricia got canned and O'Brien did too,
Who's next? (Adam Gase, we're all looking at you.)
Is there still a chance the Jets get their man Trevor?
Will Lawrence say "Wait! The Jets? No way! Never!"?
Will the Steelers' hype fizzle come playoff time?
Will the Bengals invest in a decent O-line?
Was pooping the cause of Lamar Jackson's cramps?
Will KC run it back and be Super Bowl champs?
Will Kim Ng lead the Marlins to a World Series win?
Will Sabrina be notching triple-doubles again?
What celeb next will join Angel City FC?
And is T-Swift about to drop album No. 3?
So many questions as 2021 nears,
Guess that's expected in an uncertain year.
There's one thing for sure -- (maybe just the one),
It'll be better than the last trip we took 'round the sun.
Now I shouldn't assume -- even in verse,
But really, how could it ever get worse?
Each day a new panic about one's health,
People lost jobs, loved ones and wealth.
We also lost so many memorable players,
Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson, Joe Morgan, Gale Sayers,
Paul Hornung, Al Kaline and Whitey Ford.
Kevin Greene, Maradona, all loved and adored.
Don Shula, Don Larsen, Jerry Sloan too.
Phyllis George, David Stern, John Thompson -- adieu.
It was a rough year for everyone, that can't be denied,
On our faith and our family and friends we relied.
No doubt at all, 2020 ate our plans,
So we fired up "Dreams" and grabbed some Ocean Spray cran,
Did a TikTok dance and we learned how to bake,
But that sourdough bread? Turns out it was cake.
Watched live reads of favorite old movies and shows,
And cried at finales -- goodbye, Moira Rose.
Election results made some people quite sour,
Delaying the peaceful transition of power.
And just when we felt at the end of our rope,
A vaccine was approved, bringing much-needed hope.
In the new year? Who knows? Maybe travel again.
Get back to our offices, back to our friends.
But for now, sip some eggnog and watch NBA,
Let sports be the thing that helps sweeten our day.
We'll be home for Christmas -- where else would we be?
And New Year's as well, counting 5...4...3...
Oh I'm getting ahead -- it's still Christmas Eve,
And the big man in red still has much to achieve.
So back to your slumber, have sweet dreams aplenty,
Merry Christmas to all, smell ya later 2020.
