When Jen Welter got her internship at the Arizona Cardinals' training camp this summer and became the first woman to coach in the NFL, she embraced the role as groundbreaker. Welter did a news conference and retweeted Vice President Joe Biden, who noted: "Breaking barriers and reaching new heights."
It was a great moment for women who watched the NFL bungle issues like domestic violence, and it seemed part of an overall trend of women getting the opportunities they have earned in professional men's leagues.
Which is why it was so disappointing for many of Welter's new fans to see her cheerlead Floyd Mayweather before his fight last weekend. Mayweather has done time in jail for assaulting the mother of his children -- and was alleged to have done it in front of those kids. When CNN broadcaster Rachel Nichols asked him about an extensive history of domestic abuse allegations, he denied it -- despite his guilty plea and jail time -- and said there were no pictures to prove it. Then Nichols said he revoked her credential to his fight against Manny Pacquiao at the last minute.
Welter's discussion with espnW's Kate Fagan illuminates her thinking on the issue, but it is still troubling when combined with her celebratory report of the weekend in Las Vegas, conveyed by her social media accounts. And most importantly, Welter didn't get a private meeting with Mayweather to discuss his issues, which is what her trip was ostensibly about.
What a mess.
Welter defended her decision to accept an award (FYI, another honoree was Mayweather's mother) and tickets to the fight by speculating that he picked her because she could help reform him, citing her psychology degree and ability to understand athletes.
But worse, Welter used the language of domestic violence as a metaphor for the criticism she received. When Welter was asked in an interview on Arizona's 12 Sports about the criticism of her decision to align with a fighter who has a history of abuse, she said, "And now I'm taking the punches for it, actually." Then she repeated it: "I'm taking the punches for it."
She doubled down on the imagery in the interview with Fagan, saying she'd never been "beat up" like this.
If Welter were really out to educate people about domestic violence, would she feel it's appropriate to compare words to actual physical punches from an abuser? Given her education in this area, it's surprising she isn't cognizant of how inappropriate that is.
Welter's comments before the fight only served to mystify her supporters. She expressed the idea that she didn't want to "reject" Mayweather, because then who else could he turn to?
How about a practicing therapist? Surely Money Mayweather could pay to have one travel with the entourage if he was really looking for help. But at no point has Mayweather even acknowledged culpability, much less asked for help. Welter assumes he has because his camp reached out to her, a "strong educated woman," but to think Mayweather put that much thought into it is a huge mental leap.
You have to have a relationship for that rejection to have meaning, and they didn't have one. It seems from the 12 Sports interview that Welter saw an overture from his camp as the equivalent of some kind of mea culpa. But she said she didn't get time alone with Mayweather to discuss the issues, though she's hopeful she will in the future. Mayweather Promotions tweeted a video of their one interaction. If Welter was doing this to raise awareness for domestic violence or confront him with the issue, she should have insisted the fighter meet her on her own terms, away from cameras and in a setting where she could be fully heard.
Instead, Welter's social media offerings from the weekend came across as star-struck and self-promotional, filled with concert clips and ringside selfies.
Given her comments, Welter clearly values her ability to communicate with athletes, which is important for a coach, and it's very important to her that they feel accepted by her. Yet the examples she uses around the issue of how athletes interact with women are troubling.
After the NFL presented its antiviolence program to the Cardinals during training camp, Welter told her players she had a friend who said his girlfriend somehow punched herself in the face when she didn't get a car. False accusations are illegal and unacceptable, but it's unclear why she felt this was a helpful story in light of antiviolence training. It sets up the us-versus-them mentality that's been so problematic in discussions about women, and false accusations (which statistically are a minority and subject to legal prosecution) don't negate the existence of actual domestic violence. False accusations haven't been the issue in the NFL, but documented violence against women has been.
What makes this disappointing is that it was so cool to see Welter make the most of the opportunity she deservedly was given this summer. She was apparently a pretty good coach, with real potential to make a mark. There was a lot of excitement, and she embraced it. But now it appears that she may have broken that barrier without reaching new heights, that she soaked up a spotlight without electing to use it for a greater purpose.
She was so busy looking at Mayweather's point of view -- saying critics have "hated on" him rather than acknowledging the legitimacy of the criticism -- that she didn't have a good sense of the bigger picture. Perhaps she thought backing Mayweather would build credibility with NFL players.
However, Welter also said she was caught off-guard by the attention, so perhaps this issue will prompt a little more reflection. It's possible Welter doesn't want to be a role model in the traditional sense. She may not be who many NFL fans hoped she'd be, an ally for other women in a male-dominated industry.
And that's fine since she was hired to be a football coach -- but Welter could be a lot more than that.
