IT'S the night before Christmas, 2016,
The wind, like our discourse, is snarly and mean.
The nip in the air seems to whisper a threat,
"Hide awhile longer, it's not over yet."
BUT we shan't end this year feeling gloomy and glum.
It's bad form to be down with a new year to come!
Let's embrace a fresh start with hope and with cheer,
By remembering the good times that made up this year.
LET'S start at the top, on New Year's Day,
The Rose Bowl, in sunny Californ-i-a.
Stanford and Iowa in a heavyweight bout.
McCaffrey the star in a Cardinal rout.
IN Glendale, the season's final test
To decide, of them all, who was the best.
With the Sooners and Spartans out of the race,
Bama and Clemson fought for first place.
WATSON and Henry proved deserving of fame,
Five lead changes in a classic game.
In the end, the Tide won the battle of giants,
Saban, five titles -- still chasing Bear Bryant.
TO Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara,
Kubiak taking on Ron Rivera.
The Panthers, led by the MVP;
The Broncos backed by a dominant D.
CAM and his offense sputtered and flopped,
Von Miller a force that couldn't be stopped.
A win for Peyton before he was gone,
Got a trophy and a kiss from Papa John.
MARCH Madness brought with it upsets galore.
Middle Tennessee showed the Spartans the door.
The Tar Heels and Nova the last two in play,
The Wildcats the winners on a Kris Jenkins trey.
IN Indy, Connecticut dusted the Cuse,
Not a chance Breanna would let it lose.
Her fourth tourney win and her fourth MVP,
Eleven titles for Geno, padding his legacy.
AT the NFL draft the Rams lead off,
Trading up so they could get Goff.
Carson Wentz to Philly, Penn.
Three Buckeyes drafted in the top 10.
TUNSIL'S night went up in smoke,
But Miami still took him, forgiving the toke.
The most shocking move of all that went down?
The Bucs taking a kicker in the second round.
IN May, the world was charmed and awed
By a soccer team that beat the odds.
Leicester City, at 5,000-to-1,
Premier League champs -- what a run.
THE Penguins, winners on the ice.
For Sid the Kid it was twice as nice.
Another Cup win and the Conn Smythe, too,
As the 'Burgh beat the Sharks, four games to two.
TO hoops, where the Warriors blew our minds --
A record-breaking season, 73-and-9 --
Thought they'd repeat, went up 3-1,
But Draymond sat, and they came undone.
BOGUT got hurt, Curry got tossed,
Now a 3-3 series, their lead was lost.
The Cavs took Game 7, their drought was through,
And LeBron exclaimed, "Cleveland, this is for you!"
ACROSS the pond, on the All England grass,
Andy and Serena were tops in their class.
Seven Wimbledon titles. Grand Slams? 22.
Serena, there's nobody better than you.
IN August the world headed south for the Games,
Hoping they wouldn't find Rio in flames.
They'd read of the health risks, corruption, too,
Zika, pollution, some warned of a coup.
BUT the glitter of gold can mask all that's rotten,
The focus became all the medals we'd gotten.
In gymnastics, track, hoops and crew,
Swimming, boxing, shooting, too.
FROM Ledecky to Phelps, records fell,
We fell in love with Simone -- Biles and Manuel.
But the trip didn't end up a total success,
Lochte's robbery lie was an ugly mess.
A 20-year milestone for the WNBA,
Since '97 we've been watching them play.
Sparks beat the Lynx, three games to two,
Candace Parker told Summitt, "This was for you."
IN baseball, a matchup of long-suffering teams,
Which fan base would finally live out its dreams?
Would the Indians have Cleveland popping champagne?
Could the Cubs end a century-plus of pain?
SIX games plus nine innings, no one had conceded,
A rain-delay speech gave the Cubs what they needed.
Zobrist, Montero, two runs sent in,
Bryant to Rizzo, Chicago Cubs win!
KOBE and Vin said goodbye to LA,
Marshawn and Megatron walked away.
John Scott: All-Star MVP,
Sale's jersey-cutting spree.
KAP'S protest, Baylor's mess,
The Warriors got Durant, the Rams went West.
Women's soccer fought for equal pay.
Johnny Football partied his career away.
SUMMITT, Sager, Salaam and McKnight,
Palmer, Ali, and Howe, good night.
Farewell Buddy Ryan. Denny Green, so long.
Jose Fernandez, can't believe you're gone.
IT was a tough year, and we lost many.
Scandals and tragedies, there were plenty.
But we also had lots to celebrate,
Like the merciful end to that damn Deflategate.
SO raise your glass, let's have a toast,
To a year that was, admittedly, tougher than most.
At least all us Cubs fans have something to cheers:
We're the world champs, no more "Wait 'Til Next Year!"
